Chao in Space: A Satire on the Chao Gardens
by makuta7
Summary: This is a story that I developed along with two other friends. It is a purely satirical work and is not at all meant to be taken seriously. It tells of the creation of the Sonic universe and how, through Chaos, the Chao came to be. I intend to write sequels that will be centered around other Sonic characters besides Chaos and will include more romantic and dramatic plots.
1. The Formation

The Formation

In the beginning there was Chaos. It was not so much the force of chaos that presided over the universe; Chaos simply was. Its entire essence permeated throughout the Void that had hitherto been meaningless. It had no order, no method to its thought and reason. It simply existed to exist and its being held dominion over the universe.

The Chaos was not by any means a disembodied and thoughtless creature. It grew to understand the laws that governed the Void and used them to accomplish great deeds. It cast itself into the nothingness and gave it form. It took the various shapes and forms and worked their properties into a myriad of cosmic excellence. Out of these miraculous works issued forth a beautiful song, and many forces were attracted to its melody. Life followed the Great Chorus of Chaos, and out of the barren cracks of the Form did flora and fauna arise. Emboldened by its anthem, the stars ignited in a fiery display of praise. Elements that had hitherto been scattered across the universe harkened to the dominating chants and assembled themselves into spherical bodies amidst the cosmos so that together they could sing a great aria to honor the Chaos and its works.

Alas, it was that this beauty could not hold fast forever. A creature that had long slumbered within the Void was aroused by this alien sound, and it gnashed its teeth in contempt for the Great Chorus. So strong was its loathing that the nameless beast clashed with the Chaos and created an abysmal discord that destroyed its righteous melody and all that dared praise his works. Within its jaws did it crush the spherical bodies, with its claws did it rend all forms of life, and with its great tail did it sweep out the stars from the cosmos.

This creature, which in the Chaotic Speech is called Mayhem, was so mighty during the early days of the Formation that the Chaos was beaten back by its incessant wave of destruction. Its profane wrath only continued to spread and mar the Formation beyond recognition. In a desperate attempt to halt the rampage of Mayhem, the Chaos unleashed the greatest hymn that had yet been given notation, and the forces of life harkened to his voice and answered this humble plea. The Chaos interwove the complex matrices of life and created the first beings to contain free will. Their souls were their own, and they were susceptible to the dark forces of the Void.

So desperate was the plight of the Chaos that he took little time in naming these independent creatures and merely removed a single letter from his own name in the creation of their title. He called them Chao.

The Chao took upon the purest raiment that the Chaos could conjure out of the Formation, and with his blessing they marched against the great beast, Mayhem. They waged an endless war against the beast wherever he flew throughout the cosmos, and they died in droves, screaming praises to the Great Chaos. Not all, however, were willing to lay down their lives for their master, and they listened attentively to the discord of Mayhem. He corrupted their minds with lies and blasphemies, and these Chao swelled the ranks of his black cohorts. These treacherous Chao received a name from the Chaos that was equally as rushed as their birth name, for it was still in quite a desperate state. He called them Dark Chao. With this unexpected schism between his people, the Chaos was also forced to create a new name for his own followers. He called them Hero Chao.

The war only grew bleaker as the Age of Formation neared its end, but at last the blessings of Chaos were too great—for all the forces of the universe harkened to his chorus—and Mayhem was driven back into the Void and sealed away for all eternity. This, however, was not the end of the Dark Chao, for the Chaos was merciful and sang into existence worlds where they could live their own lives however they pleased. The planet Titan was beautiful and rich in verdant hills and forests. It was given to the Hero Chao as a reward for their loyalty. To the Dark Chao he gave the planet Mayhem, named after their former master, and it was desolate and lifeless.

There was a third planet, however, that he designed to be a holy ground where only his most devout followers could tread. The creation of this planet was long, and the Chaos was able to put forth a great effort in the naming of this heavenly body. He named it Xeros. Thus ended the Formation.


	2. The Great Establishment

The Great Establishment

After the tiring work of naming Xeros, the Chaos realized that being the supreme master of the universe was not all that it was cracked up to be, and he appointed a new race of Chao that would govern it in its stead. Today, the Chaos now admits that he became quite lethargic during this second age, and he gave this new race of Chao a title that mimicked his own. He named them the Chaos Chao.

The Chaos then separated his titular Chao into three distinct castes and divided power between them equally. The Light Chao are the most revered to this day and were appointed as messengers between the Chao and the Great Chaos itself. Now in order to communicate directly with the Chaos, one must seek out a Light Chao and have him or her intercede on their behalf. The second caste was the Angel Chao. It was their duty to constantly sing praises to the Great Chaos, and their countless hymns inspire the Chao to this day. It would not be false to state that the Angel Chao were favored by the Chaos above all its other creations. Last and most feared of the castes was the fanatical Devil Chao. It was their responsibility, as the mightiest of his warriors, to enforce the will of the Chaos whenever insurrection threatened the order of the universe. These were the Chaos Chao: Light, Angel, and Devil—the prophets, the preachers, and the protectors respectively. Their names equally reflected the apathetic mindset of the Chaos during the Great Establishment, and they governed the universe during its brief recess.

The devotion of the Chaos Chao was and remains unmatched by any other force in this plane of existence. They did not question why the Chaos had forsaken its duty as supreme being of the universe nor did they ask themselves why it had required centuries in creating the name for Xeros. Nay, they did not even ask that single baffling question that still wracks their feeble minds today: Why did the Chaos only remove the "s" from its own name in denominating their race? These mysteries would forever remain in their subconscious, but they refrained from ever questioning the will of the Chaos. Their loyalty was indeed unsurpassable.

It was during the Chaos's absence that the evil of Mayhem began to resurface upon Xeros. The great beast, though battered and weakened, began spreading its influence within its subterranean lair, and, biding its time as it regained its former strength, summoned many foul horrors to prepare for its great invasion. Not even the Dark Chao were aware of their former master's presence upon the planet. Such was its desire to remain in shadow.


	3. The Great Alliance

The Great Alliance

The order provided by the Chaos was short-lived, but it was undoubtedly the most peaceful era during the Chao in Space Chronicles. The prosperity of Xeros flourished and the Penitent Chao, a more religious sect of the Hero Chao, spread the Great Chaos to all the ends of the galaxy. So many planets were converted that we cannot ascertain the exact number. One thing is certain, however: The planets that they visited had significantly better names than their own. The only planet that they truly found fault in was a strange backwater world known as Mobius, which was so primitive and unsightly that they determined never to set foot on it again. The Penitent Chao also returned bearing unimaginable treasures that brought much wealth to the Hero Chao and their planet, Titan, and the Grand Master of the Penitent Chao, James, as he was known in that day, received much praise for his heroic crusades against the alien races that dared reject the Great Chaos. Some of these treasures included brilliant gems from Mobius, the only thing of any value that that planet had to offer.

This euphoria of prosperity and wealth only served to gild the eyes of the Chao and distract them from Mayhem as he regained his strength within the depths of the Void. At last, his power was so great that he was able to summon his vilest servant that ever walked the mortal plane: The Fortune Teller. This terrifying creature had taken the form of a mere Chao and with its mystical orb it boasted the most heretical power that Mayhem could offer. It was the power of naming, a sacred rite that belonged only to the Great Chaos. With her blasphemous orb she wrought corruption across the galaxy, for the names that she bestowed upon the Chao were far worse than anything even Chaos could imagine, examples of which include Bubbles, Casino, and Cash. So great was this threat that the sacred Devil Chao were dispatched to quell her evil heresy.

Now, the planet of the Hero Chao, Titan, possessed little in terms of armaments, for all of its production went towards the crusades carried out by the Penitent Chao; however, there was one Chao, a veteran of the crusades and a fervent disciple of Chaos who dared to challenge the abhorrent Fortune Teller. His name was Tiny, as he himself was a victim of her vile naming. Together, he formed an order of Chao known as the Tiny Titans, and they joined the Devil Chao in their grievous campaign.

The planet Mayhem was not at all similar to Titan, for the Dark Chao had been cursed by Chaos, and thus their planet did not share in the prosperity of Xeros. It had been enveloped in anarchy since the end of the Formation, and the incessant wars that followed marred its surface beyond recognition. Despite this, there was a single family on Mayhem that held immense wealth and power. They were known simply as the Jojo Gang, led by their matriarch, Jojo. This horde of villainous Chao had received the blessings of Mayhem who had bestowed upon them revolutionary technologies, the likes of which are entirely unknown to even the Chaos Chao. Thus did they join the battle in the cosmos, taking to flight in their strange machines of metal. It was an alliance between Hero and Dark Chao, a coalition of light and dark that would never again be seen in the hallowed history of the Chao.

It is to no surprise that the early days of the war were fraught with disaster. The Chao, both Hero and Dark, were slaughtered in droves, and even the Devil Chao were eventually crushed by the wicked designs of the Fortune Teller, and those who survived soon deserted their righteous cause out of humiliation from the names they had received. To have a lackluster name bestowed by the Chaos only degraded further was simply too much to bear.

It is recorded that the Dark Chao received the worst of the fighting, despite once sharing the same master as the Fortune Teller, for it was within the depths of their planet that the spirit of Mayhem was strongest, and his shadow was brought down upon them like an ax against a rotting bough. Day never came to their planet, and they were barraged by storms of fire and eruptions from within earth that tore apart their already crumbling society. The destruction did not cease until one ill-fated day when a lone Chao named Pickles discovered the lair of Mayhem's spirit. Being the son of the infamous gang boss, Jojo, he had no fear in his heart, and indeed the darkness of the Enemy's catacombs paled before the darkness within his heart. At last, Pickles came face-to-face with the dark lord himself, the Enemy, the Deceiver, the Author of Death. In his yet weakened state, his power reverberated throughout the chamber, and his darkness was a living shadow that strangled what little light remained in the mind of Pickles. His voice, as beautiful and voluptuous as a summer wind spoke this:

"You who were fashioned by the hands of my foe, yet perfected by my lips, I bid you welcome."

"My lord, Mayhem, you do me a great honor, but I must ask your Malevolence, why have you punished us so when we only wish to protect our children from the disgrace of the Fortune Teller whom you unleashed upon us?"

"A wise question, my child, to which I will ask another. Why do you feel such shame when you receive these titles from the Fortune Teller? Do you not understand that a name spoken from her lips is given by my authority? Listen well, my disciple. The Foe gives you all hideous titles that you accept without complaint, yet your master deigns to give you a name from his own mouth, and you dare raise your feeble arms against him. That, my dear Chao, is the true disgrace."

Immediately, Pickles fell to his face, begging forgiveness from his terrible lord. He swore fealty to Mayhem ten times over, but the Author of Death merely laughed.

"It is not by your own will that you and your kind have made such foolish decisions. It is the influence of Chaos that yet lurks within your hearts, tempting you to defy me. Pickles, my Chao, to commend your loyal devotion I will make you my greatest champion, and I will bestow upon you a title worthy of the shadow you will cast upon the Foe and his creation."

Suddenly, the mind of Pickles was filled with the designs of Mayhem, and he saw all that the darkness saw and felt all that the darkness felt. His body was wracked with the chill of death as he writhed on the ground in agony, and upon his mind was implanted the design of a horrid machine of blackened steel. It was a machine whose form was utterly illogical yet terrifyingly real as the image flooded his eyes.

"Use these designs I have given you, my champion, and build my vessel. Then and only then will I enter your world and bring about your salvation. Then you will sit at my right hand and receive the awe and fear of all your brethren."

"It will be so, your Malevolence." and Pickles rose and left the chamber with the determination to carry out the ruin of his master and receive his horrid name.

Then, with new conviction in his heart, Pickles returned to the fortress of the Jojo Gang and regaled all that he had experienced to his mother, and she immediately ordered the construction of the Mayhem Machine, as she called it, with her son residing over the project. The next day, the Dark Chao withdrew from the Alliance and all the destruction that threatened to reduce their world to a wasteland ceased.

Confused and enraged by this betrayal, the Hero and Devil Chao rallied the greatest host that had yet been assembled to launch a final raid against the Fortune Teller, and though she was weakened by their assault, they were cut down in the end, basking in their single moment of glory before the flames of their lives were doused by the darkness. Such did the Alliance end with defeat, and all the galaxy was shrouded in despair.


	4. The Great Descent

The Great Descent

The Great Descent is the most revered event in the Chao in Space Chronicles. As such, the next passage should be read and studied as sacred.

At last it came to pass that the great Chaos Spirit could not sit idly by while his children were slaughtered by the servants of Mayhem. It was on the slopes of the holy mountain Tengoshi that the appearance of Chaos was first beheld. The Angel Chao, led by the archbishop Indigo, had devoted a century to praising the Chaos in hope that he would deliver them from the evil of the Fortune Teller. The Chao dispersed themselves throughout the mountain, singing praises so that their sacred voices reverberated throughout the region, inspiring awe in the hearts of all the Chao who heard them and fear in those of the Fortune Teller and her demonic cohorts.

All throughout this century, not a moment of silence was heard. The Chao would sing until their bodies perished from exhaustion, smiles of fulfillment crossing their blissful faces. In a mere moment, another Angel Chao would humbly take its place. Thus did their music fill the vale below the mountain, and at the end of the century, Chaos answered their prayers because he was so tired of listening to the same song over and over again and he thought that the mountain's name was very original.

In a single instant, the clouds burst open and a myriad of otherworldly lights bombarded the earth. The mountains themselves shrieked in horror, and the Angel Chao, instilled with fervency and madness, cast themselves into the rocky crags below until none but Indigo himself remained. Only one figure yet stood amidst the remains of his brethren. It was a Light Chao, or so it seemed, whose noble countenance clashed terribly with his awkward stance. Atop his tear-drop shaped head rested a fixed crown that was molded into his own skeletal structure. The bony crown and refined features caused Indigo to presume that he was some alien master from the ancient days, but in its rawest essence, this figure was truly no different than any other Chao of his breed.

At last, the creature spoke and Indigo, struck with awe, threw himself to the ground in utter submission.

"Heed my words, child of light, and carry them to all the ends of the universe. I am your brother, creator, and master. All things bend to my will, including you, my child, for I am the author of your life. You who are today my most devoted disciple will tomorrow be my greatest foe. Your desire for my power will corrupt your very being and you will be destroyed." The creature stepped forward and uprooted a black spear of basalt. "Now I will slay this vile Fortune Teller who serves the Author of Death, and I will set her head atop this pike, which I shall not name, for I delight in the nameless. You, too, will one day share her fate, child of light, but now hearken to my words. Let all Chao, both of the light and the dark, join me and march beneath my nameless banner. Together, we will assail the cosmic lair of the Fortune Teller. On this day I shall sanctify the land."

Thus did the Chaos descend to our world and become a Chao, and he took upon himself one of the lowliest names ever bestowed by the Fortune Teller: Lighty. Thus did the Chao, humbled and enraged by this deprave act, join their master's great campaign against the Fortune Teller. The March of the Lasting Crown had begun, and Lighty carved a path to the lair of the Fortune Teller that sat high in the firmament above the planet, Xeros.

At last, the Alliance besieged her solar fortress, and the Chao poured through its gates with their immortalized battle cry that shook the very stars, "Long live the Lasting Crown!" Thus did Lighty, emboldened with the spirit of Chaos, lofted his spear of basalt at the Fortune Teller, pinning her to the very throne in which she sat. The Chao, in a frenzy, tore the lair apart stone-by-stone, and the destruction was so great that it crashed into the surface of Xeros, spilling its corruption across the land. Thus was Mayhem's influence ended for a time, and the orb of the Fortune Teller was lost in that abysmal ruin that no Chao dared enter.


	5. The Renaming

The Renaming

The era that followed the Great Descent is perhaps the most controversial in the Chao in Space Chronicles. It should be known that the number of casualties incurred by the Fortune Teller's invasion was unfathomable. Thus did Lighty call forth all of his warriors and together they grieved for their fallen brothers for ten years. At the end of the funeral, Lighty climbed to the peak of the great temple of the Angel Chao, and there he gave his famously un-translated speech. He spoke as follows.

" _Dobadobado bap dobadob do_! _Da Ba Dobbab do bado boo._ _Nyao deb Doba du ba ba._ "

So inspirational was this speech that the Chao each took an oath that they would, out of reverence for their fallen comrades, never alter the names that they were given by the Fortune Teller.

Thereafter, a great era of peace fell upon all the Chao kind. The bond between the Dark and Hero Chao was renewed, and trade between the three planets grew to its greatest height in the history of the Chao; consequently, the corruption of Mayhem spread more easily during this golden age of sinful festivities, such as the Chao races and Chao karate tournaments. So much money was traded in bets on these events that some scholars have written that it was the equivalent of the entire treasury of Xeros exchanging hands four times. These games evolved into major industries, and at one point it was even quite common for Chao to selectively breed in order to produce a child who would excel in certain tournaments in order to win prizes and prestige.

Due to this plague of secularism, Mayhem was able to regain his foothold on Xeros by establishing the Black Market, an underground society of thieves, mostly Dark Chao, who sold worthless knickknacks, such as tin cans, cardboard boxes, and wool beanies at outrageous prices. These novelties stirred a fashion revolution throughout the galaxy. Wealthy Chao everywhere sought out these strange objects to wear atop their heads in order to provide them with a false sense of individualism. The Chaos Chao, however, detested the Black Market and refused to take part in such foolery.

As evil as this practice might have been, it was far from the worst deed committed by the Black Market. The greatest blasphemy of this organization was the illicit sale of Chao eggs, stolen from their homes in the night. So rampant was this crime that the Devil Chao commander, Quartz, was forced to take action. In a matter of weeks, he had assembled all of his marshals and together they led their armies on a full-scale crusade to cleanse the galaxy of not only the Black Market, but all the corruption of Mayhem.

His marshals are all considered legendary heroes of antiquity. Their names were Casino of the Chaos Moons, Bubbles of the Blood-stained Star, Dino of the Black Spear, Cash of the Nameless Swords, Echo of the Sundered Throne, and Zippy of the Risen Martyrs. These were the six Marshals of the Devil Chao and their perspective houses, whose descendents are all warriors of great renown.

It is said that Lighty was quite pleased with the creative names of these families, especially the Nameless Swords who received the greatest favor from their master. So vast was his delight that he granted Quartz the banner of the Lasting Crown, and even a hero of his great report was rendered speechless by this incomparable gift.

Thus the Devil Chao began their grand campaign against the Black Market and the various atrocities of Mayhem. So great was their success that the heroism of the Great Alliance was forgotten and the mighty warriors who were cut down by the Fortune Teller fell into obscurity.

It was during the Lasting Crown's second campaign that the Great Renaming began. Some call it a heresy; others call it a revolution. No matter which side was in the right, the event permanently altered the Chao Universe.

It was after his victory in the Chao karate Super Tournament that Tiny, leader of the Tiny Titans, decided to change his own name to Teeney, an act that disgraced the Great Alliance and even the Chaos himself who alone possessed the right of naming. Teeney, however, could not suffer the humiliation any longer and decided that his fierce loyalty and unparalleled skills in combat warranted an award. The other titans flocked to his cause, and soon all of the Hero Chao had been swept away in this fanatical movement.

The Dark Chao refused to stand idly by and let this heresy spread. They would never forget how their planet was wracked by the evil of the Fortune Teller during the early days of her reign. Thus did the Jojo Gang amass a fleet of terrible power, the likes of which has never been seen in the Chao universe to this day, and they laid siege to the planet Titan for many years.

The Hero Chao took to the skies to defend their planet, for they had been blessed with great strength and limitless flight by the Chaos; likewise, the spirit of Mayhem flowed through the twisted machines of the Dark Chao, and they torched the forests and boiled the seas on the surface below.

It was a brutal war, for the Jojo Gang had acquired tremendous technologies, and the Hero Chao fell in droves against their fierce inferno cannons and dark energy lasers. Teeney, the Hero of Heroes, as he was called by his followers, gave no quarter to the Chao of Mayhem. With his bow, Belfast, he shot down the crafty machines of Mayhem, and Chaos, declaring the weapon's name good, imbued it with his righteous power.

Despite his apparent support for the Hero Chao, Lighty could not give them his military's strength, for the Devil Chao were already deep in their campaign against the Black Market; however, even if he did have the resources to support them, he still had his doubts. Teeney had openly denied his supreme authority, a crime that could not go unpunished. Still, the Hero Chao were his loyal children. It was a difficult decision indeed. Many of the Chaos Chao were discouraged by the indecisiveness of their master, for they all agreed that Teeney should be executed, along with all his followers for committing such a blatant act of treason. Even the Angel Chao lost faith in their master that day.

While the Renaming had been reduced to a political football on Xeros, in the skies above Titan, its damage was terrifyingly real. The surface had been bombarded into a lifeless wasteland, not unlike the home of their enemy, and Teeney had been forced to retreat to one of the planet's many moons. There he established a mighty fortress to withstand the fires of Mayhem.

After many months, the Jojo Gang discovered this hidden citadel on the surface of Varian, but they were repelled by the elite archers of the Teeney Titans. Taking advantage of this moment's respite, Teeney assembled all of his followers amongst the Penitent Chao who were learned in the craft of Mayhem. They analyzed the fallen ships of the Jojo Gang, searching desperately for whatever weaknesses they could find in their designs; however, they discovered something far greater than they could ever imagine. It was a weapon that they could use to turn the power of the enemy against them and potentially turn the tide of the war as well.

On the planet Mayhem, the Jojo Gang was giving equal care to their preparations for what they believed would be the final battle. Most of their efforts were spent preparing the Mayhem Machine for war. If all went well, they would be able to summon Mayhem, the Great Dragon that had been sealed away in the Void since the Formation. All they needed were the sacrifices necessary to power the machine. Mayhem would drink deeply of the blood of the hated Hero Chao and be born again, ready to crush Chaos in his vulnerable form.

At last the day arrived that Pickles approached his mother and reported that the Mayhem Machine was ready to be outfitted into her capital ship, the Morbidity. Jojo gave the order, but she held some reservations in using the machine. It would undoubtedly draw the suspicions of the Chaos Chao, and if they succeeded in summoning Mayhem, then they would be ostracized from their kind forever. She could not deny that they were betraying the Great Chaos, the very spirit who granted them mercy and created their very home. She felt no guilt, however, for her life would forever be devoted to serving her true master.

Thus the Jojo Gang set out once more to unleash the Mayhem Machine's devastating power on the world. Little did they know, the Hero Chao had developed a weapon of equal report.

It was not long after they had departed that Dash, the chief gunner of the Morbidity, spotted a strange sight and reported it to Jojo immediately. The enormous object, he reported, was undoubtedly a moon, but according to the star maps, they were thousands of kilometers from a body of such size.

At last it was that Pickles had to witness this spectacle with his own eyes and made for the observation deck. As he stood before this mesmerizing sight, he famously remarked, "That's no moon. It's a device of Mayhem."

Indeed it was Varis, the last refuge of their foe. It had been removed from orbit by a massive engine nearly the size of the moon itself. It was the Ethereal Engine, the greatest engineering marvel recorded in the Chao in Space Chronicles. Using the incredible heat from the core of the moon, it had set out on a course for the planet Mayhem.

Teeney, along with the Penitent Chao, had crafted this weapon that could immolate entire continents by harnessing the power of Mayhem, an act as equally as blasphemous as the Renaming itself.

Chaos was infuriated that the Penitent Chao, his own missionaries, would betray him so blatantly. The Chaos Chao were equally outraged. They cried out for the heads of Teeney and his allies within the Penitent Chao, and even Quartz himself considered halting his campaign and destroying these heretics, if only to restore order to the galaxy. Chaos, however, accepted all the responsibility for their actions, stating that if he had aided Teeney during the early days of the war then he would have never resulted to such obscene tactics.

The only problem with this political maneuver was that the Chaos Chao never wanted to help Teeney in the first place, and their faith in Chaos waned even more. Now they only referred to him as Lighty, even in the most formal of situations.

The Jojo Gang was shocked at this shameless treachery, but wasted no time as they positioned their fleet to engage the moon base from its sides by splitting their fleet in two. They bombarded the engine with all their firepower, but it was to no avail. The massive machine was constructed by the arts of Mayhem, rendering their attacks useless. Even the hallowed Death Blossom of the Mayhem Machine could not disable this colossal monstrosity.

The Jojo Gang had no choice but to land on the moon's surface and assault the fortress on foot. Thus Jojo donned her ebony Venom Suit, the terrifying combat armor of the Dark Chao, and took up Ûran, her sword of black crystal. Together with her elite warriors, she charged into the incessant fire of the Titans. With their abysmal flamethrowers and darkness carbines, they shattered the Hero Chao's defenses with a rain of fire and shadow until at last Teeney himself emerged from the heart of the fortress to defend his people.

At this point, the Ethereal Engine was nearly in range of the planet Mayhem. In a matter of minutes, the cities of the Dark Chao would be reduced to mounds of molten slag. In desperation, Jojo engaged the titans, allowing for Pickles, the greatest engineer among Mayhem's children, to infiltrate the fortress and disable the monstrous engine.

Thus did the most heroic duel of the Great Renaming begin when Jojo clashed with Teeney in a violent storm of fire and light.

Teeney was the superior fighter by far, but Jojo's mind was amongst the sharpest and cleverest of all the Chao. He fought valiantly against the Marauder, as she was known by the Hero Chao, but she overtook him using the enhanced speed of her Venom Suit. Seven times did she wound him until at last Teeney forsook his sword and shield in favor of Belfast, his mighty bow. With a wrathful shout he launched an arrow laced with the righteousness of Chaos that shattered her Venom Suit and pierced her heart. With a cry of anguish, she toppled over and fell into one of the moon's bottomless craters. Thus ended Jojo the Marauder and strongest of all the gang warlords of Mayhem.

Her death was not in vain, for Pickles was able to sabotage the Ethereal Engine, saving the Dark Chao from a fiery genocide. The threat, however, had not yet passed, for Varis had already been caught by the gravitational pull of the planet.

It was the terrifying climax of the Renaming. The moon itself was on an unstoppable collision course for the planet Mayhem. There was no way of escape, no means of survival. All the Chao could do was stare at the great doom before them. It was the ultimate irony. The two powers, blind by their greed and self-righteousness were being punished for tampering with the darkness of Mayhem. In those final moments all fighting ceased and the Chao, once bitter foes, watched in solemn reverence as their world fell apart about them.

Teeney himself, battered and dying, crawled to the very precipice of the engine and threw himself into the icy depths of space, for he refused to let his final resting place be the home of his most hated enemy. Thus ended the Hero of Heroes, mightiest warrior among the children of Chaos and the most beloved martyr of the Renaming.

Like a great fireball from the heavens, Varis slammed into the planet with the force of a supernova. The Ethereal Engine exploded and the surface of Mayhem was shattered like a sea of glass. The cracks reached into the very core of the planet and fiery geysers shot up like a thousand volcanoes erupting simultaneously. The planet itself was split into five sections, but the black, infernal core remained whole, floating in space. The Jojo Gang's mighty fleet, now pitiful in comparison to this apocalyptic force, was bombarded by shattered remnants of their own planet and the vessels, like flies sucked into the destruction, crashed into the various disembodied continents below.

Only one lone survivor remained. It was Pickles who had been jettisoned from the engine shortly after the impact. Now he was falling through space, staring into the fetid core of the planet where Mayhem's essence remained the strongest. He fell into that gaping maw of darkness and his body was bathed in the black miasmas of his master. And the spirit of Mayhem called out to him amidst the void.

"My child, you alone are worthy of being called my disciple. You have destroyed your own kind and your greatest enemy in a single, cataclysmic blow. You have brought about true mayhem and for that you shall be rewarded. Henceforth, my eyes shall be your eyes and you will be like a wraith, traveling both the mortal world and the Void. You will transcended beyond the Chao and become a creature formed in my own image. I shall by your succor and you shall be the spear in his side, the spear that slays the Great Chaos. Your name shall be Bad Lad. Now go forth, destroyer of worlds and slayer of kin."

Thus did the newly formed Bad Lad emerge from the primordial core of Mayhem. He was now no longer recognizable as a Chao. He was a creature of Mayhem with a body of black steel and a face that resembled the discord of Mayhem during the Formation. His body was not whole, however, for only part of his form existed in the mortal world. The other half resided in the Void, allowing him to perceive all of the events in the Chao universe. At long last, he was one with his master and he knew exactly what he must do. He found the Mayhem Machine, broken but not destroyed and he immediately began repairing it with his newfound powers. He then rose up a desecrated fortress that rivaled the lair of the Fortune Teller herself, and there he bided his time, waiting for the orbit of Xeros to align with the Mayhem Machine so that he could unleash the hallowed Death Blossom upon the children of Chaos.

Thus ended the Great Renaming.


	6. The Age of the Splintered Crown

The Age of the Splintered Crown

It was what many scholars called, "the Ultimate Failure of Everything." Chaos had refused to choose a side during the Renaming, and thus no one was victorious. An entire planet had been destroyed and two species of Chao had been eradicated from existence. The only Dark Chao that survived were criminals in the Black Market, and all that remained of the Hero Chao were the missionaries scattered about the universe. Of course the Lasting Crown had returned from a successful campaign against a nefarious criminal syndicate, but what glory was to be had in such a small victory when it was eclipsed by the destruction of an entire planet and the annihilation of two species of Chao?

The destruction and death was so great that Chaos deemed it the Nameless Disaster, for he hoped that neglecting to give it a proper title would somehow cause it to be forgotten. He could not have been more wrong.

The Chaos Chao were in a state of near-anarchy. Lighty lost nearly all of his authority, and his people looked to Quartz and his six marshals for order and peace of mind. Thus the seven commanders were each given a brilliant gem of Mobius as a symbol of their dominance, and Lighty appointed them to be governors over the various provinces of Xeros.

Despite this tremendous shift in power, the Lasting Crown yet remained Loyal to Lighty and his advisors supported his actions. That is all, save for one. Indigo the Angel Chao who had witnessed the Great Descent all those years ago was not at all satisfied. He believed Lighty to be an utter failure, and his hatred boiled within him until one fateful day when he entered the throne room to voice his complaints.

"My lord, if I may say, you have become quite lax since you appointed the marshals to be governors over your holy planet."

"I have restored order," spoke Lighty. "We have no enemies who would dare challenge us; therefore, I believe that my inaction is warranted."

"Then I suppose you think it just that your people live in a constant state of fear? You have enforced martial law upon your once glorious empire, reducing it to a feudal society. How long will it be before the governors challenge each other for power or dare I say challenge you, my lord?"

"The Lasting Crown is the most loyal body in my domain, and no one in their right mind would dare challenge me."

This enraged Indigo. Throughout the past centuries he had been closer to Lighty than any other Chao. Thus he felt betrayed to find his heroic, compassionate master replaced by this cold, self-righteous dictator struggling to cling to what little power remained in his grasp.

Indigo then knelt before his master and spoke those infamous words: "The Lasting Crown shall fall today."

Indigo then arose in a flourish, drawing forth his wicked dagger and drove it through the heart of Lighty. He would not dare defend himself, for he loved Indigo as his own son.

"All things bend to my will. I created you and gave you a name. Then I took upon your flesh and the lowliest of names all for your sake. I loved you my child, but your destruction is as inevitable as the rising sun."

Thus ended the Lasting Crown of Lighty, sovereign of all Chao-kind. Then Indigo, imbued with new rage at the sight of his blood, tore open the skull of his lord and ripped out his crown of bone. He dashed the sacred crown against the crystalline floor and crushed his body into a bloody ruin. Indigo then retreated through the subterranean passages beneath the capital where thousands of his followers awaited his return.

The great Chaos was not vanquished, for the seven Devil Chao governors swarmed into the throne room when they saw that Lighty had not been present for the finals of the Topaz race. When they laid their eyes upon his lifeless body, they did not despair, and each held aloft his Mobian jewel. And the spirit of Chaos flowed into each gem, imbuing them with limitless power. Then they released the Mobius stones and they assembled around the corpse of Lighty. Their brilliance issued forth and for a glorious moment, their master arose with life flowing through him once more.

He raised his right hand and spoke, "May the glory of Chaos be with you all unto the end of days."

He nodded solemnly to the governors before his form was completely encapsulated in a massive Mobian gem of verdant green. Chaos would never again be seen in the likeness of a Chao, and the Lasting Crown would only be remembered in song and meter.

The governors took the giant jewel and gave it to the Angel Chao who named it the Angel Stone and sealed it away in a hallowed tomb that had been prepared for their master. The Angel and Light Chao then gathered about this holy sepulcher and wept for several years.

Thus it was that the seven governors became the lords of Xeros, and they fashioned for themselves crowns of basalt unearthed from the very mountain, Tengoshi, where Chaos first appeared. In these crowns they set their glorious gems of Mobius, and they were like mighty warlords of the ancient days. Thus began the era of the Basalt Kings.

Though no one had witnessed the assassination of Lighty, the seven kings all agreed that it could be none other than Indigo, for only Lighty's chief advisor could call for a private audience with him.

There was only one viable action. They assembled their armies and scoured the planet for the cowardly traitor. There was one location, however, that they dared not approach. It was the abysmal ruin of the Fortune Teller's lair. Here it was that Indigo and his followers sought refuge. And it was deep within the desecrated bowels of that hellish fortress that Indigo uncovered the most wretched artifact of Mayhem—the orb of the Fortune Teller. Thus Indigo gathered all of the Chao who despised Lighty and they began the Great Indigo Revolution which most scholars call the Second Darkness. His followers marched to open war with the Basalt Kings under the banner of the Indigo Chao.

Due to their severe lack in numbers, the Indigo Chao were forced to result to hit-and-run tactics, but their true weapon was no blade or spear. It was the orb, and with its terrible power, Indigo destroyed the morale of the Basalt Legions by slandering them with names that were so horrifying that they were never recorded.

So crushed were the Devil Chao that many of them deserted their masters. Hysteria spread throughout the planet, and many feared that the Fortune Teller had somehow returned to exact her terrible vengeance.

The Basalt Kings did not falter amidst the overwhelming panic, and they chased Indigo throughout the land until all of their armies had forsaken them. At last they surrounded Indigo on the summit of Tengoshi where they used the power of the Mobian gems to destroy his followers until Indigo alone remained. They captured him and used the orb to change his name to Indie. Alone and humiliated, Indie was paraded all across Xeros before being cast into the fetid catacombs of Malodor. Unable to destroy the orb, the Basalt Kings launched it deep into space, for the kings feared that even they would be corrupted by its dark power, should it remain on Xeros.

Thus ended the Age of the Splintered Crown.


	7. The Eternal Darkness

The Eternal Darkness

The final and most terrifying age of the Chao in Space Chronicles now follows. It was a harrowing time of mystical fear and strange otherworldly forces. The Basalt Kings had restored order, but their great foe, Indie, was not vanquished. The once-honored Angel Chao had been wandering Malodor for several years, and as time passed, the filthy conditions took their toll upon his body. In his weakness, the spirit Mayhem entered into him and corrupted his flesh until he was no more than a mockery of the children of Chaos. Mayhem called his abhorrent creation the Catastrophe Chao and he unleashed Indie upon the world of his most hated foe.

Indie began by slaughtering his fellow criminals who wandered Malodor, and every Chao that fell at his hands was tainted with the essence of Mayhem until he, too, arose as a vile Catastrophe Chao. This plague swept through the catacombs of Xeros until they had amassed a legion of vile abominations of Mayhem. Within those fetid caves they bred and multiplied to unholy numbers until their hordes swelled forth to the surface.

The Light Chao received prophesies from the Chaos spirit warning them that this was the end of their age. They called the Catastrophe Chao the harbingers of death, sent to punish them for the many heresies they had committed.

The Basalt Kings refused to heed their prophets and retreated underground where they established clans to protect the Mobian gems that contained the spirit of their master. It was a time of darkness and desolation. The Catastrophe Chao swept across the land, marring the once holy planet of Xeros. There were some who dared to challenge them, but they stood no chance as they were consumed by the rushing tide of black filth. Only the subterranean strongholds of the Basalt Kings held fast against this great evil, but even they could not defend themselves forever.

At last it was that Xeros was aligned with the path of the Mayhem Machine, and Bad Lad fired the terrible machine at the hated planet. The hallowed Death Blossom eclipsed that once sacred world and reaped the life from its very core. The Catastrophe Chao were scattered like insects as their lives were extinguished like mere embers submerged in an ocean. Only the seven clans survived the onslaught and even they incurred great losses.

In a matter of days, all light was blocked out from the planet and nothing lived that was good. The Seven Kings then assembled for the first time in years, and it was agreed that they could not save their families without coming together to face this alien threat. Together they ascended through the shadowy firmament and, led by its traces of death, they discovered the unholy fortress of Bad Lad where the Mayhem Machine dwelt therein.

With their combined might, the seven kings sundered the gate and purged every monstrosity that the powers of Bad Lad could muster. At last they entered the rotted heart of the fortress where the Mayhem Machine's ritual was proceeding. Suddenly they were assailed by maddening creatures of the Void, and one-by-one they fell to the cleansing fire of the Devil Chao.

Out of the flames did Bad Lad arise and he spoke with the tongue of a viper: "Where is your master who alone is worthy of facing me in open combat? Who are you to challenge me, whose sight is all-seeing and whose reach is beyond the confines of this world?"

Then Bad Lad held aloft the orb of the Fortune Teller, and the kings quaked in fear. With the orbs blasphemous power he altered the kings' names beyond recognition until they were unpronounceable.

So great was their shame that the kings were prepared to take their own lives when a glimmer of hope shone through the darkness. It was none other than the Mobian gems encrusted within their crowns. In a flurry of blinding light, the emeralds were emblazoned with the radiance of seven stars.

Then the seven kings, imbued with the power of Chaos, smote Bad Lad with a holy bolt of white lightning, and he fell, a ruined wreck of twisted metal and black blood.

Then they turned their fury upon the Mayhem Machine, and with the sound of a thousand peeling bells, the cannon cracked and its shadowy entrails were emptied into the atmosphere, enshrouding the broken planet in a nebula of darkness.

The fight was not yet won, however, for Bad Lad arose, his form now wholly visible in all its morbidity. With a wave of his hand he revealed the wondrous Angel Stone—that sacred gem that contained the spirit of Chaos.

"Raise your sword against me," hissed Bad Lad," and I will crush what remains of your master."

The seven kings were not at all shaken by his threat and together they poured forth all their strength into a lethal blast that shook the very foundations of the mortal plane and the Void alike. And as the body of Bad Lad was being rent asunder, molecule by molecule, he spoke, "Let my life be a sacrifice to the Great Dragon!"

The light faded and the Mayhem Machine roared to life once more. Its Hellish furnace belched forth putrid flames and the entire machine melted into a metallic sea. Out of the molten lake emerged a hideous claw larger than the planet itself. It was the Great Dragon, the body of Mayhem that had been imprisoned in the Void since the end of the Formation.

No amount of logic or reason could describe the return of Mayhem. His body filled the galaxy until he was unrecognizable to the mortal eye. With his tail he swept out a thousand stars, he rent a hundred planets with a single swipe of his claws, and in his jaws he swallowed galaxies.

The Great Dragon unleashed a star-splitting roar that shattered the sanity of the Chao, rendering their minds as blank as newly born infants. Then with a single beat of his wings, he unmade the planets of the Chao and reshaped them into worlds of darkness and desolation. The Mobian gems and the Angel Stone were scattered throughout the universe, and the seven kings were now seven children cowering before this supreme being of destruction.

Mayhem's victory was all but complete until one of the kings (scholars argue over which one exactly) tripped over the Orb of Naming. In one ridiculous motion, the king threw the orb at the Dragon as one might throw a pebble at a mountain.

No one is certain how such a miracle occurred in that moment, but surely the spirit of Chaos must have been present. The orb began to glow like a candle submerged in a sea of darkness, and when it struck him he roared in agony as his body was returned to its state of molten metal. The black liquid, pulsating with dark energy, was sucked into the orb, and the darkness faded.

Thus ended the Great Dragon and his brief yet terrifying reign. The orb, however, was not nearly strong enough to contain his entire form; thus, the spirit of Mayhem was allowed to wander the mortal world thereafter.

Here ends the Chao in Space Chronicles, a history full of both glory and shame. Only time will tell what the great Chaos Spirit holds in store for our future. Long live the Lasting Crown!


End file.
